Hate to Love Read online

  The door finally opens, and I walk into the light of the lamps she has scattered around the living room. There's an overhead fixture I've never seen on, even though it's fully equipped with light bulbs. They are the old incandescent kind, however, and I have to wonder if they are original to the apartment.

  "My power's out again," I say.

  I sound more defeated than I intended, and she notices.

  "Well, that's no reason to just give up," she says in the lilting, soothing accent I can't quite place. "You haven't lived here long enough to have not paid your electric bill. Have you called the landlord again?"

  "I just found out," I say. "I didn't do anything but come over here."

  "Oh." I drop down onto her couch, and she settles into the rocking chair beside me. "It's good to see you, either way."

  Leaning my head against the back of the couch, I rotate it toward her with as much of a smile as I can muster.

  "Thanks," I say. "It's good to see you, too. Thanks for letting me come over."

  I omit 'even though I didn't really give you a choice.'

  "Any time. You know I love the company. Marathon's just getting ready to start. 'Matlock' tonight." I nod in acknowledgment. She looks at me questioningly. "Now, that was just not enough enthusiasm for Ben. These are the good episodes, too. Before Alex Winthrop turned into Cliff."

  "I'm sorry. I just had kind of a rough day at work."

  "Did you do the coffee shop or the office today?"

  "Both."

  "I would have guessed that. You're wearing your grown-up clothes, but you smell like espresso."

  I groan. "Great."

  "So, what happened today? You tell me your story before the cookie company woman gets murdered. Spoilers."

  I don't have the heart to tell her that's not how spoiler alerts work, so I spill out the story of the entire day, backtracking to explain my family's history with Shane Lawson. When I'm finished, I look over at her.

  "That Shane Lawson's a good-looking boy," she says.

  "You watch football?" I ask.

  Somehow, I can't envision her being into sports.

  "Of course, I do. What do you think I do on Super Bowl Sunday? Knit?"

  I glance over at the pile of afghans sitting on a steamer trunk against the wall.

  "Yes."

  "No! I put on a pot of chili, and I watch the game."

  OK. Apparently, everybody knows about football but me.

  "Well, he might be gorgeous, but he's also a total ass."

  "I said good-looking. You just brought it to another level. Are you sure you're not all worked up for a different reason?"

  I glare at her.

  "I'm sure," I say resolutely. "You have no idea how much that man hurt my brother, and now people are saying he abused his girlfriend. I don't date. I don't see any real value in spending that much time with someone I barely know just to maybe get to know them and like them. I'm not going to entertain the idea of being attracted to a cocky, arrogant jackass who's already caused so much trouble in my life."

  "Have you even asked him if the news reports are true?" she asks.

  "No. The conversation about the coffee is the only interaction we've had."

  "Then you don't know for sure. You shouldn't be so quick to judge or discount anything. People change. It's part of life."

  I let out a long sigh. I’m too tired to talk about this right now.

  "Let's just watch the show."

  The next morning…

  "This is completely absurd," Shane booms from Mr. Slidell's office.

  I keep my head down, trying to focus on the documents in front of me, and not become aggravated by having him in the office again.

  "Mr. Lawson, I am doing my best to follow the instructions given to me by Mr. Tinker. As of now, you've gone through every representative in my firm but one. This is the last opportunity."

  "He's refusing to even meet with me. How can you say you're running a business when your employees are this incompetent?"

  "I will schedule another meeting with him. Just wait outside."

  I am in awe of how calm Mr. Slidell can stay in the face of Shane's behavior.

  The door to the office flies open hard enough I hear it slam into the wall as Shane storms toward my desk.

  "Coffee," he demands. I ignore him, continuing to go through the folder. He slams his hands down on the desk in front of me. "Coffee," he says, louder and more aggressively.

  That's it.

  I've had enough.

  I look up into his face. It's reddened by his anger, the blue of his eyes deepened and flashing as he rages. Meeting his gaze, I stand up slowly.

  "No," I say.

  "No? What do you mean 'no'?"

  "Is that a word you've never had someone say to your face before? It wouldn't surprise me. Let me desensitize you to it a bit so it's not so hard on you," I continue. "No. N – o. No."

  "How dare you talk to me like that?"

  "How dare I talk to you like that? Have you not heard yourself every single time you are in this office? How dare you talk to other people like they’re beneath you?"

  "I can talk to people however the hell I want to. Who are you to tell me what to do?”

  "You know, fame and wealth aren’t everything. In the end, it doesn't matter how much wealth you have, or how powerful you think you are. You're not better than anyone else here. You should be begging us to help save your shitty ass. It's not their fault you act like such a raging imbecile you've screwed your reputation and made the public turn against you."

  There might have been some words in there I really shouldn't have used.

  "I didn't do anything wrong," he growls.

  "Get your head out of your own ass, Shane. You're sinking faster than a rowboat made out of a storm door, and you know it. Your only hope is to have someone come in and do damage control for you."

  I'm leaning on the desk now, mirroring his position so our faces are only inches apart.

  "You call me Mr. Lawson."

  "No. I will never call you Mr. Lawson. You were just Shane to Joe, and you're always going to be just Shane to me."

  Well shit. I really didn't mean to say that.

  "Joe?" he asks, some of the tension releasing from his face as the name from his past strikes him.

  "Yes," I say. I've already come this far. I don't really have anywhere to go but forward. "Joe Jacobs. You remember that name, don't you? Or maybe you don't. Maybe you're so wrapped up in yourself you forgot about the best friend who dragged you with him through practices, summer camps, and endless weekends out on the field just to get you on the freshman team. The one who spent no time at home because he was always with you. The one you threw away as soon as someone stroked your ego and made you feel like somebody. That Joe. I'm his sister."

  "Julie?"

  Mr. Slidell's voice, almost disturbingly even, calls out from his office.

  Oh, shit.

  "Yes?"

  "Can you come in here for just a moment?" And this is where I get fired. Fantastic. "And bring Mr. Lawson with you, please."

  Double shit.

  Chapter Four

  Shane

  Joe?

  Did she really just say she's Joe's sister? I can't possibly have heard that correctly. Julie shoots a glare at me, and I look into her almond-shaped brown eyes. This is Joe's little sister? The little sister he was so protective of he didn't tell most people that she even existed? Now that I know, I can see it. There's more spark in her now, but she is still mousy and awkward. I remember the last time I saw her, sitting in that ugly-ass throwback chair Mr. Jacobs loved. She wears her light brown hair the same way, hanging straight just above her shoulders, though that last time I saw her, she had a thick hank of it wrapped around her finger and was running it over her lips. Those lips are the part of her I haven't been able to take my focus away from. Plush and pouty, they seem coated with only a swipe of Chapstick, and are turned down at the corners. Even through the angr
y scowl, though, they have serious potential.

  She groans. "Great. Now I'm going to lose my job because of you. You just keep finding creative ways to fuck up my life, don't you?"

  Well, that's not exactly the potential I had in mind.

  Julie pulls her eyes away from me and starts toward the office with all the enthusiasm of someone headed to the executioner. I follow, unsure if I'm dreading or looking forward to sitting in Mr. Slidell's office again. I don't really want to be in this office anymore, but I think it could be amusing to hear the boss man dress her down for getting in my face. Mr. Slidell is already sitting behind his desk, hands folded on the top, when we walk in.

  "Have a seat," he says.

  His watery eyes look happier than they have in the many times I've met with him, and his thin lips are curved up into an almost-smile. Julie sits at the very edge of the chair as if preparing herself to make a run for it the second Mr. Slidell starts laying into her. I have no such nervousness. I lean back against the chair, folding my hands expectantly in my lap. He knows exactly how I feel about having a PR rep, but he's not about to let someone as inconsequential as a secretary offend the biggest client his firm has ever had.

  "Mr. Slidell –" Julie starts, but he holds up a hand to stop her.

  "Julie, let me," he says. She nods reluctantly, and Mr. Slidell lowers his hand. "Both of you know it has been a great… challenge to find the right representative for Mr. Lawson's needs."

  "Like I've said," I say. "There isn't a rep here who is cut out to represent me. They aren't prepared for what they'd be facing."

  "Maybe they know exactly what they'd be getting into, and that's exactly why they won't work with you," Julie mutters, apparently forgetting the innocent act she put on when she first came in.

  "Excuse me?" I say.

  "You heard me," she says. "Just like I've heard you every single time you've come into this office and treated every single person you encountered like dirt."

  "I'm not going to let people push me around because they think they know what's better for me, and my life, than I do," I snap back.

  "Maybe you should," Julie says, turning toward me with fire in her eyes again. "You really need to figure out how to get your shit together and be a real person. One of these reps could do that for you. They might be able to drag you back from the brink of destruction you've managed to get to, especially with what I heard about you today."

  I feel the anger in my chest swell more intensely.

  "What did you hear?" I ask through gritted teeth even though I already know exactly what she's talking about.

  "I don't think you need me to spell it out for you," she says.

  "You don't know what you're talking about. It's all a lie."

  Mr. Slidell clears his throat.

  "Excuse me. If the two of you are finished, there's something I’d like to say."

  Julie's eyes snap over to him, and her face reddens, telling me she had completely forgotten he was even in the room with us. I look at him, expecting the smile to have been replaced by a look of anger. Instead, his eyes are almost dancing.

  "Mr. Slidell," Julie says again. "I'm sorry. I know I'm out of line in the way I'm talking to him, it's just –"

  "You're right," he says, cutting her off mid-sentence. "Normally, you would be absolutely out of line."

  "Normally?" I ask.

  He looks at me.

  "You have worked your way through every one of my reps," he says. "You've refused to work with many of them. Some of them have refused to work with you. I know for a fact this isn't the first firm you've done that in. Actually, that's specifically the reason you're sitting here right now. We're the last firm left. Frankly, I'm not willing to lose out on the money and publicity having you as a client could offer us. So, I'm giving you to Julie."

  "What?!"

  Julie's voice overlaps with mine, and I look at her. She hasn't bothered to turn away from Mr. Slidell and is now leaning toward him. Her mouth hangs slightly open, and I see her hands gripping the armrests on her chair. I'd be amused by her stunned reaction if I didn't also feel like I've run headlong into a plate glass door.

  "Mr. Lawson has proven himself to be a very challenging client, but I have remained confident in my belief that everyone can be represented. The visibility and money that could come to this firm from his representation is considerable, and I have been trying to find alternatives to him working with any of my current roster of reps. And now I know I do have that option. You, Julie," he says.

  "Because you ran out of other people?" she asks.

  "No," he continues. "Because you seem to be able to handle him."

  "Handle me?"

  I don't like how that sounds, not one damn bit.

  "Yes. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, and it seems Julie here has a unique ability to stand up to you. It was obvious that the others I've tried to assign you to have been either intimidated or infuriated by you, and that is not the basis for a successful representative relationship."

  Julie points to her chest with both hands.

  "That's me. I'm infuriated. He infuriates me, too."

  "Yes, but you didn't come tell me about it," Mr. Slidell says. "You didn't have to have me there to confront him. All the others have either refused to be in the same room with him, or only told him they wouldn't work with him after they talked to me and were still standing in my office. You didn't need any of that. You were willing to stand up to him, and tell him like it is, and that's what I need in a rep. Maybe not with the language. At least, not in the office, if you can help it."

  Julie blinks at him a few times, then shakes her head.

  "I can't do that," she says. "I can't be his rep."

  "I saw your resume, Julie. I know you were at the top of your class. You've been preparing for this type of career. You can absolutely do this. And in exchange, I'll offer you a raise, and a bonus if you do particularly well."

  "You're rewarding her for the way she spoke to me?" I ask incredulously.

  "I'm offering her pay commensurate to the work she'll be doing."

  "And what if I refuse to work with her?"

  "Then I tell your coach, and the owner of the team, and let them handle what they're going to do from there. From what I hear, I'm guessing that will include trading you to another team, so you become their problem. I apologize for being blunt with you, Mr. Lawson, but you must understand, this is really your last opportunity. Your team sent you here with the clear intent of finding a rep who will help you clean up your reputation in time for the new season. Without that, you don't have a future with the Eagles."

  Julie

  Is this really happening? Am I actually sitting in my boss's office listening to him tell me I just got my dream job – with my nightmare client?

  I walked into this office knowing that I was going to get fired. I felt like I'd be lucky if Mr. Slidell didn't scoop me up along with my desk plant and toss me out the window. Especially after Shane and I laid into each other right in front of him.

  But, no. Instead, he seems on the brink of sheer delight at this concept.

  My mouth opens and closes a few times, but I can't get any words to come out.

  "But I'm your secretary."

  All that thinking, and that's what I manage to come up with. Nice, Julie.

  "I understand that," Mr. Slidell says. "And I appreciate your apparent concern about the efficiency of how my office runs, but I'm sure I can find someone else to fill this spot for the time being. This is what you wanted, isn't it? You want to be a rep." He narrows his eyes slightly, almost as if scrutinizing me. "Or are you afraid you can’t handle it?"

  "Of course, she can't handle it!" Shane snaps from beside me. "She has no experience. She has no idea what she's doing. It would be a total waste of time and energy for her to even try."

  Fury coils up in my belly again, breaking through the confusion and momentary panic caused by Mr. Slidell's announcement.

  "What
do you know about what I’m capable of doing?"

  "It doesn't take a tremendous amount of insight to recognize a girl with any actual skill in PR wouldn't be making coffee in two different professional capacities."

  "Look," Mr. Slidell says, holding his hands out between us like he's negotiating a peace treaty. "To be honest with you, I am very eager for this situation to be over with, so I'm going to make this as clear as possible. Shane, you must fix your reputation before the season starts, or you will lose your job. Julie, you are going to fix it, or you will lose yours. Am I understood?"

  I feel my stomach drop. I can't stand the thought of having to be in the same room with Shane for even a minute longer, much less having to actually work with him. But I don't have much of a choice. Either I accept the raise and bonus by throwing myself into the lion's den, or I refuse and let my hurt, anger, and general distaste for Shane take away the little bit of footing I've found here. Sending me right back to where I started. Working a dead-end job at a coffee shop.

  "This really is futile," Shane says. "Even if she does accept, she's going to give up in a few weeks."

  Lion's den it is, then.

  "I'll do it," I say, my eyes locked on Mr. Slidell.

  I've been told too many times, by too many people, that I can't do something, or that I was going to fail as soon as I left home. Like my parents' death was the end of any prospects or possibilities for me. I might have started to believe it a little in the last few weeks, but I'm not going to show it. And it’s certainly not going to be Shane freaking Lawson who drags me down.

  "Good," my boss says, the tension that had formed on his face during our conversation softening. "The coach tells me final roster reduction for the team is September first. You have until then to fix Shane's reputation and make him the Golden Boy again. If you don't, he will be one of the names off the roster."

  Shane hops sharply to his feet beside me.

  "What do you mean by that?" he asks. "The coach said ownership was considering trading me. Didn't say anything about cutting me from the roster."